Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
