Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
