he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
