when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
