If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
