i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize