I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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