it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
