How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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