i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
