He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
