If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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