FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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