i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
