She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
