I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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