I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
