there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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