Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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