i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
