am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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