Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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