well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
