I think im going to throw up on grandma
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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