At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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