it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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