Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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