i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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