Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
