We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
