Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
