Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize