Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
