stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
