A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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