I am full of burrito and curiosity
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
