apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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