OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
