So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
