thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
