Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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