Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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