i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
