is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
