Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
