he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
