You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
