a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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