I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize