Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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