I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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