Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize