Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
