You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
