yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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