New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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