I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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