Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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