Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sober January is a disaster.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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