I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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