It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
