you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize