Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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