areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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