I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
