i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
