youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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