I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize