So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
