WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
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