Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
