watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
