The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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