well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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