Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
