so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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