And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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